Quiet strength: Experts say it is better to offer unobtrusive help behind the scenes, much Samantha Cameron appears to do for David.

You might think a gentle nudgefrom a loving partner would help you stick to your plan to redecorate the house or get in shape. But a supportive other half with the best intentions can actually demotivateus, according to a study.

Thinking about the support a significant other offers in pursuing goals can undermine the motivation to work towards those goals, scientists claim. It can also increase procrastinationbefore getting down to work.

This phenomenon even has a name - ’self-regulatory outsourcing’ - which is the unconscious reliance on someone else to move your goals forward, coupled by a relaxation of your own effort. It’s not solely a phenomenon between partners, but happens with friends and family too.

The study’s authors, scientists Gráinne Fitzsimons of Duke University and Eli Finkel of Northwestern University, said: ’If you look just at one goal in isolation - as the study does - there can be a negative effect.

’But relying on another person also lets you spread your energy across many goals, which can be effective if your partner is helpful.’ The authors conducted three online experiments with participants recruited from a data-collection service.

In the first, of 52 women, some were asked to focus on a way their partners helped them reach health and fitness goals; the control groupinstead entertained thoughts of their partners helping them with career goals.

When asked how diligently they intended to work toward getting fitter and healthier in the coming week, the first group planned to put in less effort than the second.

Facing an academic goal, people also unconsciously outsourced their exertion to helpful partners. In the second experiment, 74 male and female students were given a means of procrastination - an engagingpuzzle - before completing an academic achievement task that would help them improve their performance at university.

Those who had mused about how their partner helps them with academic achievement procrastinated longer, leaving themselves less time to work productively on the academic task, than did control group participants.

’The first experiment was about intention. The second captures behaviour,’ said Professor Fitzsimons.

如果你计划重新装修房子或者健身的话，你可能认为爱侣的贴心支持能让你更坚定地完成自己的计划。但是一项调查显示，另一半好意的支持反而会让我们失去坚持的动力。

科学家称，在实现目标的过程中，如果你一直想着你的挚爱的支持，反而会让你失去追逐目标的动力。而且这种支持也会让你变得拖拖拉拉，迟迟不愿意开始行动。

这种现象甚至还有一个名字：自律外包，意思就是说人们潜意识中会依赖别人来帮助自己达到目标，而同时自己会放松努力。这种现象不仅仅存在于情侣之间，也存在于家人和朋友之间。

该研究的作者、杜克大学科学家哥劳亚 菲茨西蒙斯和西北大学科学家伊莱 芬克尔说：“在研究中我们只是单独研究一个目标的实现情况，结果显示（伴侣的支持）确实是有负面影响。”

他说：“但是依赖另外一个人能让你将精力放在很多目标上，而且如果你的另一半能帮得上忙的话，将能有效地实现多个目标。”该研究的作者在网上进行了三次实验，参与者是从一个数据收集机构中招来的。

第一个实验的实验对象是52位女性，研究人员要求其中一组人集中精力，想想她们的伴侣帮她们达到健身目标的一个方法，同时研究人员要求另一组人想想伴侣帮她们达到职业目标的几种途径，以作为对照。

随后，研究人员问她们在接下来的一周中打算花多大力气来实现更苗条更健康的目标，结果显示第一组人打算付出的努力要少于第二组人。

在面对学业目标时，人们也会潜意识地将她们的努力“外包”给能帮助她们的伴侣。在第二个实验中，74位参与的男女大学生需要完成一项有助于提高成绩的学业任务，但是在他们完成之前，研究人员给了他们一个有意思的智力游戏，来拖延他们完成任务的进程。

那些想着伴侣可以如何帮自己完成学业任务的人拖得更久，因此他们用于完成学业任务的有效时间要比对照组的人短。

菲茨西蒙斯教授说：“第一个实验研究了（这种支持）对人们的意识的影响，而第二个则研究了对于行为的影响。”

Vocabulary:

nudge: to push somebody/something gently or gradually in a particular direction （朝某方向）轻推，渐渐推动。这里指的是支持、帮助。

demotivate: make (someone) less eager to work or study（使失去动力；使变得消极）

procrastination: the action of delaying or postponing something（拖延；耽搁）

outsource: obtain goods or services from an outside supplier（外包；交外办理）

control group: 对照组

engaging: interesting or pleasant in a way that attracts your attention（有趣的；令人愉快的）