2014考研英语复习参考:名师帮你改作文(7)
The picture describes an increasingly common scenario in today's world. An employee quits her previous job and carries the company's confidential commercial information to her new position, which quite angers(annoyes) her former boss. Meanwhile, the employee herself is ignorant of her misbehavior, but only indulges in the happiness of a better career development.
I would like to begin the discussion by relating the background of this phenomenon. As China has experienced, and is experiencing,() a prosperous economic boom with numerous companies mushrooming, people start to throw away the deep-rootedthought(viewpoint) that one should keep a single job as a life-long pursuit. Instead, job hopping has() become(s) as common as daily meals. A series of problems thus emerge, including how employees stick to their occupational discipline to keep secrets of different organizations. Some people are offered a new position merely for the much(high)intelligence they command, while others might reveal confidential information unconsciously. Their behavior leads to unfair competition and damage(s) the otherwise well-functioning economic order.
In my point of view, for one thing, all employees need to(should) be instilled with honesty and loyalty. Honesty records should be established to evaluate employees' credibility. For another, therefore(there) should be interferences from relevant laws and regulations in order to chastise those whose telltale action() results in great harm.
Sahra点评:16分。这篇文章布局简单清晰,分3段。第一段描述图画,第二段阐述含义,说明其中蕴涵含道理,第三段下结论。句式不单一,可见该同学深厚的语法基础,也用到了很多漂亮的作文词汇。今后写作中,多注意形近词语的辨别,这样作文会更漂亮。此篇作文是典型的由社会现象到人生哲理转变,近年类似的题目较热,提醒09考研学子多加关注。
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