大作文

第五档范文 19分

As illustrated in the cartoon, each person sits in their own work room. In front of them is a computer. Everyone looks at the screen carefully, and communicate with their colleagues through the net instead of talking face to face. Their work places are placed like a net. And below the cartoon, there is a topic which says: the near and far among the Internet.

From the cartoon, we can conclude that the cartoonist wants to convey such a message: with the popularity of computers, people from all over the world become nearer by using the internet to communicate with each other. Meanwhile, people also become far away from their friends. All of us accept the fact that the development of the internet brings lots of conveniences to our daily life, for instance, we can buy a book on the net instead of going to a bookstore. Besides, we can communicate with our friends on the net without going out of home. But we can’t ignore the other side of these: the time we spend with friends or family becomes less. And we hardly see them once in a week. It will make us feel lonely if we continue to use the tool on the net to talk with friends instead of talking with them on the phone or going out with them.

To my best understanding, we should use the net to communicate with each other in a proper way. It is just a tool when we really need it to serve us. If we want to keep our friendship more effectively, we should spend more time with them in our real life. Only in this way can we not only make full use of the communication tool on the net but also make our friendship stronger.

评语：该文很好地完成了试题规定的任务，内容完整，既清楚描述了漫画内容又指出了其隐含的意思。语言流畅，措辞准确，句型结构有变化，有效使用了连接手段，内容连贯，层次分明，文章易于理解，仅有个别语言错误，字数符合要求。

第四档范文 15分

As is vividly depicted in the drawing above, we can see clearly that some people are very near by the computer while some people are much long with each other in the net world.

What is conveyed in the picture is most thought-provoking and worth discussing among people, especially the young people. It is a mirror, reflecting the relationships between the people are altering by the Internet. People’s opinions differ greatly on this matter. Some people believe that the Internet is very convenient for people who are living in a longer distance to keep connection with each other. Others argue that the Internet make the people living in near areas meet very little. Still others hold that people’s facing to face to communicate is reducing to a low level.

It struck me that if nothing is done to solve the social phenomenon, its effect will be soon shown, which inevitably affects the development of the harmonious society. So we should regard the trend rightly. We also should take it into our accounts strictly. We should use the Net more reasonably. On no account should we make the people longer by the computer. Only in this way can we have a good generation foreseen. And a more harmonious society can be built up.

评语：文章较好地完成了试题规定的任务，内容比较完整，既描述了漫画又揭示了隐含的意思，使用了比较丰富的句型结构和词语，使用了一定的连接手段，语言基本通顺，文章结构完整，层次清晰，易于理解，但是有一定数量的语言错误。

第三档范文 11分

As the picture vividly depict that internet like a net connect different people in the world. You can communicate with your friends. No matter where they live in, the distance no longer an obstacle in our communication.

The picture reflect a thought-provoking social phenomenon that people in a mounting numbers use internet shopping, work, study and chatting with friends in order to meet each other face and face. There are somewhat reasonable, but you weighing in mind, you can find that distance between our spirit longer than before. On the Internet we can not know each other very well, because some people don’t use their real name, even tell lies on internet. On the conterary, if we meet each other face and face, it’s better for communication.

Internet make the obstacle of distance vanished, benefit us a lot, we can chating with our friends who live in a city that far from us. However, we should take that serious internet make the distance of our spirit longer than before, internet is a double-edge sword.

评语：该文包含多数内容要点；语法结构与词汇基本能够满足任务要求；有一些严重语法与用词错误，但不影响理解；内容较连贯，层次较清晰。但是第三部分主要是对第二部分的总结，评论简单。

第二档范文 7分

As can be seen from the picture, many people are sitting in the front of a computers, who are basing in typing on the keyboard, but they don’t immediate communicate with each other though they live near. It looks like a bit pot, everyone has its space, and the computer is necessary for them.

It goes without saying that this picture aims at reavling a common phenomenon in our daily life, that is internet brings conviences to us, also brings the distance for each other. Nowadays, we must believe that our development can not leave the using of internet. We do any things through the computer instead of saying "hello" to our families or colleagues face to face.

In my opinion, we must realize the importance of the internet and also pay more attentions to communicate with each other face to face. Do not make the computer make a distant between us.

评语：该文遗漏题目要点，评论不够恰当，语言错误多，有些句子内容表达不清晰，字数不够。

第一档范文 3分

Largely through the influence of many people from different points of the world. The old, the young and the student, they use the computers to constant with another body.

Some people use computer to leare new knowledge, such as the students. Some people use the computer to help them to complete their work. Such as the tank workers. While some people use the computer to play games. For example, some old person like to play game on computer.

Many people on computer is on Monday to Friday. But the player people is everyday more or less. So the world is like a family. Since the computer with us is to enable our to share in a common life we cannot help considering whether or not we are forming the powers of the life’s happy.

评语：该文明显遗漏主要内容，不能反映需要表达的观点；语法与用词错误很多，妨碍理解，作者的语言运用能力差；字数不够。